Why my friends think I'm gay
I don' t want to cap off today with that lame Family Feud bit, so...
I'm not gay. We've established that in "You look at my skin...". Regardless, out of all my friends, I'm apparently the most likely to be gay. Dewey fucked Nick in the ass, but I'm the gay one. Seriously though, it doesn't bother me. We all give each other a hard time for something or another. We kid, it's good-natured, and we're cool with it. However, what I thought was interesting was what started the whole "I'm gay" thing.
Before I tell you that story, I have to tell you this story. Most of us went to the same middle school, though everyone but me went to the same high school. All my friends went to the tech school, while I went to the regular public high school. They were all into cars, motocross, etc. and it wasn't my thing. I mean, I liked riding bikes and all, but I didn't want to rebuild one from parts. It was all cool, we still hung out and had plenty of other things in common. That's that story.
A few years back, we're at Bumpers having a few drinks and shooting pool. I ended up meeting a woman and we shot some pool and talked. She was fairly hot, but she talked a lot about cars. Like seriously, 90% of the conversation was about cars. I asked her if she read much (the topic of school came up), and she told me about some article in some car magazine. I mean, I can change my oil, brakes, and do some minor repairs and custom work, but she was throwing around words like "engine block" and "fuel injection" and "flux capacitor" (or whatever).
Eventually, she invited me to her place, but I was so freekin' bored that by the time we would have hit the bed (or couch, or kitchen table, or hood of my/her car :P), I'd be asleep. So I gracefully backed out, and pointed her in the direction of one of my other friends (who liked cars and probably would have gotten off on all that). I mean, she was nice and everything, but we were just not on the same wavelength and I had to take a pass.
And ever since then, I'm the gay one.
In other news, a Kohl's just opened up in town and they're having this huge grand opening sale selling everything for dirt cheap because this town is full of crackheads that can't afford Kohl's gear at regular prices and if they don't have a sale, all their shit is going to get shoplifted anyway...and I got this this pair of Sketchers (in brown leather) on sale for $40. I was, like, so totally psyched because I had been looking for a new pair of shoes for a while, but not liking anything out there.
...and they have the nerve to think I'm gay. :P
I'm not gay. We've established that in "You look at my skin...". Regardless, out of all my friends, I'm apparently the most likely to be gay. Dewey fucked Nick in the ass, but I'm the gay one. Seriously though, it doesn't bother me. We all give each other a hard time for something or another. We kid, it's good-natured, and we're cool with it. However, what I thought was interesting was what started the whole "I'm gay" thing.
Before I tell you that story, I have to tell you this story. Most of us went to the same middle school, though everyone but me went to the same high school. All my friends went to the tech school, while I went to the regular public high school. They were all into cars, motocross, etc. and it wasn't my thing. I mean, I liked riding bikes and all, but I didn't want to rebuild one from parts. It was all cool, we still hung out and had plenty of other things in common. That's that story.
A few years back, we're at Bumpers having a few drinks and shooting pool. I ended up meeting a woman and we shot some pool and talked. She was fairly hot, but she talked a lot about cars. Like seriously, 90% of the conversation was about cars. I asked her if she read much (the topic of school came up), and she told me about some article in some car magazine. I mean, I can change my oil, brakes, and do some minor repairs and custom work, but she was throwing around words like "engine block" and "fuel injection" and "flux capacitor" (or whatever).
Eventually, she invited me to her place, but I was so freekin' bored that by the time we would have hit the bed (or couch, or kitchen table, or hood of my/her car :P), I'd be asleep. So I gracefully backed out, and pointed her in the direction of one of my other friends (who liked cars and probably would have gotten off on all that). I mean, she was nice and everything, but we were just not on the same wavelength and I had to take a pass.
And ever since then, I'm the gay one.
In other news, a Kohl's just opened up in town and they're having this huge grand opening sale selling everything for dirt cheap because this town is full of crackheads that can't afford Kohl's gear at regular prices and if they don't have a sale, all their shit is going to get shoplifted anyway...and I got this this pair of Sketchers (in brown leather) on sale for $40. I was, like, so totally psyched because I had been looking for a new pair of shoes for a while, but not liking anything out there.
...and they have the nerve to think I'm gay. :P
posted by Bad Habit Brota at 10:35 PM
2 Comments:
your "friends" must be, ummm, phobic about things.
you are very intelligent. but you are not gay and i figured that out from 1000 miles away. not because you said anything at all remotely sexual in emails. because you are you. and that you is not gay. and if you were, you woul still be cool.
some people are just fuckin' scared assholes.
I wouldn't say they're phobic...well, some of them are, but not my closer friends. I don't mind the joking, as being gay isn't a bad thing, IMO.
Being gay would certainly have its advantages. I'd probably be a snazzier dresser, and not so color blind. Furthermore, I bet I could have gotten more financial aid for school. There's like a million gay scholarships out there! :)
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